All Dogs Go to Heaven/Transcript

(United Artist logo)

(A film starts with a sign reads "Goldcrest Presents" before fading to underground tunnel with a tapping noise is heard)

Male voice-over: Itchy, A few more degrees to the left! Now! Tap! (the screen fades to black) No, no! Your other left! That's it! Keep coming, keep coming! You're almost through!

Itchy: (voice-over) Du-ha....

(the screen fades to the different side of the tunnel before it fades to black again which it reveals "A Sullivan Bluth Ireland Ltd. Production")

Male voice-over: Itchy, what is it?

Itchy: (voice-over) Idgi...idgi...ho...

Itchy: (voice-over) Idgi...how...

Male voice-over: Well, don't stop now.

Itchy: Hi...yee...idihominee... ah...AH...CHOO!

Male voice-over: (dryly) Terrific.

Itchy: (voice-over) I'm sorry, boss. I got dirt in my nose. Di...di...ow...

Male voice-over: You gonna do it again?

Itchy: (as the screen flicks on by a light to reveal Itchy, who is a dachshund) Doh...stand back. I...eee... feel... (the light flick to black) another... (light flicks back on) eee...eee... (flicks off) AH-CHOO!!!

(The llight flicks back on to see Itchy zips forward to the nearby pipe)

Male voice-over: Itchy, you're a genius!

(flicks back to black)

Itchy: (voice-over) Thanks,boss.

Male voice-over: I'm glad to see you. (the sign on screen appears and reads "A Don Bluth Film") Where are you? (bumps to something) Ow! What was that?

Itchy: (voice-over) Adga--Ooh. It's a pipe. (a light flick on where we see Itchy moves a light on his hat up and down behind a pipe) Here I am, Charlie. You're okay?

Charlie: (voice-over) Shh! Shh! Shh! I'm okay.

(the screen fades back to black for a second until it, again, fades back where Itchy turns on the TBD to cut through a metal pipe)

Itchy: Where are you?

Charlie: Aah! No! Don't! Don't! Put that out. (Itchy turns off the TBD off as the screen fades to black) What, are you trying to kill me?

Itchy: (voice-over before it fades to It Itchy holding up a TBD) I'm so sorry, boss, but the pipe-- Here, let me try this.

Charlie: Carefully, Itchy. I think that might be a water main.

Itchy: No, Charlie. Water mains are green. This is red.

Charlie: You're color-blind. You've always been color-blind.

Itchy: That's true, but this is green.

Charlie: It's red.

Itchy: Red? (starts drilling as the water explodes out of the main, causing a huge fountain of water spreading all over the dog pound)

Man 1: (voice-over) Busted water main!

Man 2: (voice-over) Hit the lights!

Man 3: (voice-over) Call command central!

(Underground, everything is shaking and the title wave of water comes down towards Charlie and Itchy)

Itchy: Ooh! Look out!

(two runs from the title wave before the camera then cuts back to the pound where searchlights randomly moves around to investigate)

Man 1: (voice-over) Shine the light over there! No, over there!

(the camera cuts to Charlie and Itchy struggles to get out of the hole before a light spots them)

Charlie: Aah! Itchy!

Itchy: Oh, whoa! Whoa!

(gunshot. Frantically, the two dogs pops out from the hole and hides under a truck)

Charlie: Let's get out of here!

Itchy: Sorry, Charlie. I think--

Charlie: Don't think! From now on, I'll think!

Itchy: Okay, you think about-- (gunshot at Itchy's tools) Whoa! MY STUFF!

Charlie: Forget the stuff! I'll buy you more stuff!

Itchy: Wait! My drill!

(but the gunshot blasts Itchy's TBD)

Charlie: Oh, come on! Ooh! (Itchy climbs under and hangs on to Charlie as he runs before Itchy looses his grip and falls down itching in a panic) Itchy. Not now! Don't-- (Charlie launches and grabs Itchy after dodging a gunshot) Don't! Not now! (he pushes Itchy for a slid before hitting a gate with tunnel underneath)

Itchy: (still scratching himself) I can't help it, Charlie. I itch when I'm nervous!

Charlie: Well, don't be nervous.

Itchy: Just scratch this.

(The two dog ducks as a gunshot blasts through the gate)

Charlie: It's not worth it being with you! (the duo crawls under the fance through the tunnel) Pull this! Pull this! Ah, pull this.

Itchy: Yah! Whoa! Just a minute! (finally the two climbs out to escape the pound) Are you okay?

Charlie: Come on!

(Afterwards, the two dog are finally free as the ran away from the pound while dodging gunshots. After Charlie and Itchy runs away from sight, a title logo "All Dogs Go to Heaven" appears on the screen before a halo drops above the "H")

Itchy: (voice-over; to Charlie) You're such a grouch!

(Then a halo drops on a logo. Meanwhile a camera cuts to a swamp and slowly pans left to an abandon ship, which is a casino)

Voice-over: On your marks? Get set..... (gunshot as the sign reads New Orleans, Louisiana, 1939 on screen) AND THEY'RE OFF!

(The scene cuts inside the casino where we watch a group of rats, including a small rat named Squad car behind them, racing, by chasing a piece of cheese on the TBD and the the audience of dogs cheers and roars)

Dog Caster: (fast-talking as announcing) It's a spectacular line-up With mighty Morris taking an early lead. Rat o' war is second by a head, And secretary rat trails by a half. What an amazing race, ladies and gentlemen! Out of the turn, it's mighty Morris, With rat o' war charging up from behind. In the second turn, Mighty Morris and rat o' war fight it out While squad car trails the pack. Now it's rat o' war by a nose. Secretary rat is second by a head, With mighty Morris back at third--But wait. Squad car is making his move in the rear. He tries to the right. He tries to the left. But it's no good, folks. It's rat-Eat-Rat out there, And they're just not gonna let him through. But what's this? Squad car's coming through the middle. (Squad car runs between those two big rats, as they then come close together to stop him) Oh! He's caught in a pinch! Oh, my gosh! (Squad car escapes from the pinch and went for a ride) But now he's climbing out, And he's riding on top of cheezewhiz! (the rats runs over the loop like a rollercoaster) And into the loop-The-Loop, it's squad car on cheezewhiz Bringing up the rear as they enter the oil slick. (the large rats slips on a puddle of dark tar) Oh! Oh, my gosh! Look out! What's this? (Squad car hops one big to another to reach the front) Squad car playing hopscotch in the back stretch. Sixth! Fifth! Fourth! Third! I don't believe it! Into the obstacle, squad car takes the lead! So it's squad car by a length, Rat o' war second by a head, cheezewhiz moving into third. (As the rats runs towards the mattress with springs sticking out where Squad car hops one of them to another, but getting caught by one string) But wait a minute! He's...he's...he's... he's stuck! Squad car is stuck. (hence the big rats hop passing Squad car) What a nightmare! What a minute! (Squad car grabs one of the big rat's tail) It's squad car by a tail. Oh, my gosh! Look out! What's this? (Squad car finally escapes as he fling himself out leaving a big rat behind on a ground, until he flies over the other big rats to the finish line before them) It's squad car springing to the finish! (a large paw grabs Squad car and the big rats runs also pass the finish line, where they been sent back to the cages below) What an incredible race! (an officer dog gave a wreath to Squad car and give him a kiss for his victory) Squad car, rat race's shortest long shot, Takes the roses in the upset of the week. Who would have guessed? (The dog aidance cheers and boos) But don't go away, folks. We've got more action coming up.

Dog 1: (to another dog) If you ask me, I think the house is rigged.

Dog 2: (sadly rip of a ticket) That does it for me. I'm busted.

Dog 3: This will be one To tell your grand puppies about.

Chihuahua Gambler: (happily bring his ticket to a booth) Hee hee! I win! Hee hee! Hee hee!

Bulldog: (hands a chihuahua a rotten piece of steak) Here you go. (chuckles)

Chihuahua Gambler: (sniffs) Ooh! Bad meat!

Dog 4: (to a ddoberman) What's the odds on terrible tom?

Doberman: Terrible.

Dog 4: Well, then, give me large mike to win. (gets a ticket and leaves)

Dog 5: (drops a broken dog collar on a desk) Large mike to win!

Doberman: (throws a collar on a floor) No markers, tailpipe. Come back when you got some food.

Dog Caster: And they're off! It's a Rat-Eat-Rat world out there As large mike takes the lead--

Charlie: (howling) Hi, guys! What do you know? What do you say?

Itchy: What do you say? What do you know?

Charlie: Itchy, do we detect a look of surprise here?

Itchy: Maybe we should go out and come back in again.

Charlie: Ha ha ha ha!

Smiley: Charlie? Ain't you supposed to be on death row?

Charlie: No, I ain't supposed to be on death row.

Itchy: I got him out.

Charlie, Itchy, and the Dogs: (sings You Can't Keep a Good Dog Down while Killer enters and saw Charlie and Itchy)

(Meanwhile)

Killer: It's him, boss. I don't get it. Mr. Carface, I know what you're thinking, But I don't know nothin' about this. We set him up for good.

Carface: Killer, I do not wish that I should share 50% of the business with my partner Charlie.

Killer: You want that I should go squeeze his head with the pliers?

Carface: Killer, that is no way to treat an old friend. Friends must be handled in a friendly and businesslike way.

Charlie: Carface! Ha ha ha! Hey, Carface, you decent? Ha ha ha!

Carface: Charlie! Oh, is it really you?

Charlie: Is it really me? Is it really you? Hey, you've put on a little weight. I told you to stay off sweets. This place is looking okay-- A little gauche, but okay. You know, partner, I'm proud of you, But the customers ain't laughin'.

Carface: Gamblers are never happy, Charlie. You know that.

Charlie: Yeah, but I've been thinking. What this place needs, besides new curtains, Is some class, culture, choreography, And some influence of the theater. Dancing girls. What do you say?

Carface: Charlie, times has changed. I've changed, you've changed.

Charlie: What are you talking about? I haven't changed.

Carface: Charlie, you done time. That's not good for business.

Charlie: What are you saying?

Carface: You are a dog with a record.

Charlie: I was framed!

Carface: I know that. You're like a brother to me. That's why...why...

Charlie: Why what?

Carface: We need to split up the partnership.

Charlie: What? Are you out of your mind?

Carface: They'll be looking for you, Charlie. And what's the first place they're gonna look? Here. Here! I don't like it, Charlie, But it's for our own good.

(Meanwhile)

Carface's Men 1: Did it eat yet?

Carface's Men 2: Yeah, it ate, But how come I got to feed Carface's little monster?

Itchy: Huh! Monster!

Killer: Come on, dogs, you've got a job to do. Carface wants you to get rid of Charlie.

Itchy: Charlie? Oh. Oh! Ooh! Ah! Charlie! They're going to kill you, Charlie! Charlie, they're going to kill you!

(Back with Charlie and Carface)

Carface: So, we'll set you up somewheres Where they don't know you.

Charlie: Yeah? Go on.

Carface: 50% of this is yours, right? Charlie, take it. You want a cut of the steaks?

Charlie: T-Bones?

Carface: Sure.

Charlie: Porterhouse.

Carface: And one half of the mignons.

Charlie: This is sounding better all the time.

Carface: Then it's a deal?

Charlie: Well... deal. Put her there. Ha ha ha!

Carface: Ha ha ha! Boys, listen up! My former partner wishes to announce That he is going into business for himself.

Killer: You heard the boss.

Carface: Shut up! Boys, to the Mardi Gras!

(At the Mardi Gras)

Itchy: Charlie? Uh, Charlie? Ooh! Ouch! Watch those heels, lady.

(Meanwhile)

Carface: And I am sure that I speak for every dog amongst us in wishing you the best of luck in your new venture. And now, as a token of our esteem, we are presenting to you this lucky gold watch! Heh heh heh.

Charlie: Ha ha ha! Takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

Dogs: No, you can't keep a good dog...

Carface: Killer.

Killer: Uh-Huh.

Carface: Take Charlie out back for the big surprise.

Killer: Surprise? What surprise, boss?

Carface: The big... surprise.

Killer: Oh, ho ho! You mean... that surprise? Oh... oh...

Carface: You moron.

Dogs: Doggy...

Charlie: Hee hee hee! You're the doggonedest pal a swell could ever have. Ha ha. I love you guys. You want to sing with me?

Itchy: Charlie!

(Meanwhile)

Charlie: You can't keep a good-- Do you know this? You can't keep a good dog down

Killer: This is the mark. Stay here, and don't peek.

Charlie: I've been fat and thin I've been out, been in...

Killer: Boss! Ha ha ha!

Carface: Shut up.

Killer: Ooh!

Carface: Good-Bye, Charlie. Heh heh heh!

Killer: Boss, can I help you push the car? Please?

Itchy: Charlie!

Killer: Ha ha ha. Huh huh!

Carface: Killer, shut up!

Charlie: Can't keep a good dog Dooooooooown! (suddenly got hit by a car)

(Meanwhile)

Charlie: Huh! Where am I?

Annabelle: This is the great hall of judgment.

Charlie: Judgment?!

Annabella: Oh, not to worry, Charlie. You'll go to heaven. All dogs go to heaven Because, unlike people, Dogs are naturally good and loyal and kind.

Charlie: That's true.

Annabelle and Charlie: (sings Let Me Be Surprised as Charlie realized he was dead)

Charlie: Listen! My time's not up yet.

Annabelle: Oh, it is. There's no mistake about that. We know everything.

Charlie: Murdered in the prime of my life! That Carface, I'll kill him. Hey, this must be the watch department.

Annabelle: You might call it that. See, this watch is your life... and it's stopped.

Charlie: Well, can't you just wind it up or something?

Annabelle: And send you back? Oh, no, no, no. No one's ever allowed to go back. Put your paw right here.

Charlie: What's that for?

Annabelle: For our book of records. Everything about you that was or will be Is right here.

Charlie: Oh, isn't that wonderful? I love it here. You mean there's no surprises or anything?

Annabelle: Oh, no, no, no. We know everything.

Charlie: That's just lovely. The clouds, the grass, the air.

Annabelle: Heaven is a wonderful place! Charlie: Yeah. No surprises, huh? Say... would you like to dance? You mean if I'm waiting for an inside straight up here, I'd know in advance whether I filled it?

Annabelle: We know how it all turns out.

Charlie: You must have studied dancing. You have natural rhythm, unusual for a whippet.

Annabelle: Oh, I'm getting dizzy! Charlie: Everything is so lovely here-- So planned, so ordered. That's what's driving me crazy.

Charlie and Annabelle: (continues to sing Let Me Be Surprise as Charlie winds up the watch)

Annabelle: Charlie, what are you doing?

Charlie: (continues singing)

Annabelle: What's that you have behind your back?

Charlie: (continues singing)

Annabelle: Charlie, don't wind that watch!

Charlie: (finishes singing)

Annabelle: Charlie! (however was too late as Charlie went back to Earth) You can never come back!

(Back on Earth)

Charlie: I'm alive.

Annabelle's Voice: Charlie, you can never come back. You can never come--

Charlie: (angrily closes the lid as he heard thunder) Oh! (whimpers)